I've been away for a bit seeing family and attending workshops which I'll hopefully write about soon. I'm continuing on my quest to absorb as much environmental knowledge as I can and motivate myself to get out there and live it. This week though I want to explore something else that's been on my mind, purge my thoughts as I often do here at KAP. A few days ago, quite suddenly and unexpected, I lost my beloved sweet boy C C. He went into intestinal distress and after trying for hours to save him we had to make that most dreaded decision to put him down. Last Sunday morning started off promising to be a beautiful day with the boys happily eating their breakfast, after which I turned them out to pasture. By mid afternoon the nightmare began and ended just as the sun was about to rise on Monday with my husband and I pulling out of the parking lot of the NC State animal hospital with an empty trailer and heavy hearts. This began my pondering of if I'd known would I have done anything different? It was a long miserable winter but would I have braved the elements and spent more time with my guys if I'd known he wouldn't be with me come spring? We all think from time to time how would we act if we knew how much time we had here and have been momentarily moved by the many songs on the subject such as Tim McGraw's "Live like you were dying". My question though is how would you act toward another if you knew you had a set contracted time to be together. If the day you met you filled out and signed a contract stating a start and end date for the relationship. Would we speak kinder, look one another in the eyes more, have more patience and let those pet peeves fall by the wayside. Would we snap less and bite our tongue from correcting them over trivial things they may say or do. Would we be more attentive and less distracted when we were with them. The list goes on and on and as I mull it all over the next question I have is are we even capable of maintaining that sort of intensity in all our relationships even if we knew it was not to last forever?
Unfortunately I had not done a post for C C yet on either blog so I've put one up for him now over at Sweet T Farm if you would like to see more pictures and learn a little about him.