Rebel

How do you describe any animal in words? They each have a unique presence that needs to be experienced and felt to even come close to understanding who they are. Rebel especially, it's hard to find the words to describe his soul.

I love connections and knowing the history of things and that is one of Rebel's qualities. My uncle bred Appaloosa's and owned his grandparents. My dad acquired one of their fillies and later bred her for us to have Rebel. I cherish that I have had the honor of riding his grandmother and his mother before him. My dad picked a small, docile paint to be Rebel's sire, wanting a small quiet horse for his granddaughters. Funny thing genetics, haven't seen much of the docile little paint in him, seems to have taken more after his grandfather who was quite large and intimidating at times. Although his spirit inspired many a curse word in the early years, now it inspires the soul. He was born to run and run he can. My husband has commented he would have been a great pony express horse because of his stamina and speed. If I were to visualize him anywhere else it would be leading a herd of horses across a prairie or better yet racing across the ground underneath a great warrior. What makes his essence so powerful is that his spirit is coupled with such a big heart. He may give novice adults a hard time, but melts into the most caring and concerned of horses if a child is on his back. Rebel has been one of my greatest teachers and therapist. He has helped (forced) me learn more about myself and the energy I project. A horse is a mirror of the person handling him, and the energy I projected at that time in my life had much to do with any earlier issues. That was the past and here we are now and I can not think of a more intelligent, compassionate and magical horse and it is an honor to have him as part of our family.

Pride

I wanted to say a little about Rebel's mom in order to describe a special trait they share. It is a unique gait we have recently come to know as the Indian Shuffle and that horses that present this trait are known as Walkaloosas. If you are interested in learning more click here. My dad's description is, "it's like sitting in a recliner", to me it looks like they have wheels on their feet and they are literally shuffling them. This trait made Walkaloosas a much sought after horse back when they were used for transportation, but as their usage became primarily for shows it was almost bred into extinction. Points were deducted or a horse could be disqualified if it broke into this gait while in the show ring. Thankfully it is now a recognized trait and breeders are once again breeding for it. I wander if any of the other horses my uncle raised had this trait or if it just genetically appeared in Rebel and his mom.

The above are older pictures of my dad on Pride and my daughters on Pride and their other horse Noel.

New Day

What a difference a day makes, feeling more like myself, releasing my obsessive thoughts and moving forward. I have realized some of the benefits of blogging. It is a place to find release, inspiration, and friendship. I may still zig zag my way through topics, but such is my life. Working now on my post to introduce my Appaloosa and tonights sunset was amazing, was able to capture it from two different bridges, choosing the best one to post will be a tough decision.

"The beauty and mystery of this life is not in arriving at answers, but in the process of seeking."

Susan Sarandon

Stuck in Neutral

Maybe it's the winter getting to me, but I have so many questions and thoughts rattling around in my head and bumping into one another. I'm stuck in neutral and no matter how much I try to move forward I go nowhere, everything just circles around and back again. I've wandered off my mindfulness path and need to sort this out in order to return. One question is why am I here, not in this time and place, but just why am I here in the world of web logs. I look back through my post and they appear to have been written by several different people. There is no theme or consistent writing style and it seems to have lost it's original purpose. What am I trying to accomplish, do I know, does it matter? I can see why I relate so well to the Mockingbird as I wonder if there is one true voice hidden there somewhere within these post. I think I'm coming to realize and accept they are all me and that it's alright to be so. Maybe I have been searching for a truth that has been right in front of me, waiting to be acknowledged. So here we go with yet another voice, the introspective analyst who drives me crazy. I may question why I am here now, but I do know where it began, in a similar state of mind with too many thoughts, ideas and goals rattling around in my head and my husband (probably going insane from being my sounding board) saying, "write it down". So excuse the personal stroll inside my mind, but I think I'll try that again and write it down over the next few post. Maybe then I can get out of neutral and be on my way once again.

On another note, I have been ask about my animal family and also met a new horse blogger today, so bear with me and I'll break up the internal journey post by interspersing post introducing each one.

Nature's Paintings

The days are gradually inching their way longer. I always dread when the time changes and the days shorten. In these winter months the sun has started setting by the time I leave work and it is dark shortly after arriving home. This leaves me doing many barnyard chores by the glow of a few solitary lights. I so yearn for the long days of summer when I can come home and there is still time to stay out and play. A time when more can be done on weekday evenings to lighten the weekend load and I am not relegated to shut myself away so early. But there is a bright spot in the winter darkness as there is beauty to be found in any season. During these shortened days the light around the coast is somehow more serene, the air crisp and fresh. It seems to cradle the soul and create a dreamlike state of mind. My drive to and from work involves crossing four bridges over three different bodies of water. As the sun is setting on my way home, I can forget for that time about the darkness that awaits me, for it is as if I am driving through a painting.

Comfort Zones

I stepped a little out of my comfort zone last night and totally enjoyed it. As I've said before, cooking is really not my forte, and last night I invited girlfriends over for dinner. After reading in some cultures it's a symbol for moving forward, I wanted a menu that included fish. I prepared an indoor clam bake, sort of, and served it on my mom's china. It was a fun way to warm a winter night. The dinner was alright, but the fellowship was fantastic, I called it a melding of brilliant minds.

Fragmented

Do you ever have those days where you feel fragmented, as if your soul is trying to live in different realms at the same time? You don't feel centered, you can't focus or see things clearly, and nothing seems to pull the pieces back together. It feels as if external forces, like little mischievous goblins, are playing tug of war with your essence. I recently had one of those days, and then late in the afternoon I came upon a child. She sat there coloring, just quietly being in the moment. I only spent a few minutes in her presence, but as I walked away I realized I could breathe again.

Give It A Day

There is a saying in NC, if you don't like the weather give it a day.

We had some snow today, back to freezing temperatures again ....

and the weather forecast for Friday is 60.

(same trees, another day, still magical)

The Majestic Live Oak

The majestic Live Oak, a standard backdrop in many southern tales such as Gone With the Wind. They are sturdy and strong trees, the hardest of hardwoods, used for such things as ship building. They stand through the trials of nature, from biting frost and hot humid summers to the destructive winds of hurricanes. They get the name Live Oak due to the fact, unlike other oaks, they are evergreens. They do shed leaves in spring, but are never barren, for the new growth is already in place to fill the void. Live Oaks stand guardian around our property like tribal elders. In one breath they impart the wisdom of the ages, in another stir childhood imagination.

Bottom picture is the Angel Oak Tree in Charleston, SC

Brrrrr, Baby It's Cold Outside

A rare sight for us, our pond frozen all the way across. Can't really complain, our lows have been other areas highs or in some places they would see it as a heat wave. Thankfully it's warming today, thinking of all of you that are still frozen.

Crayon Colored Sunset

The sunset tonight appeared as if it had been drawn in the sky by a child with a box of crayons. The sun seemed to dominate the horizon with distinct rays eminating outward in shades of yellow and orange. I was witnessing this as I was driving, my view partially obscured by trees, buildings, and power lines. By the time I reached the bridge, a spot with a clear shot down the waterway, the sun had finished setting. The sky was still colorful, but in a matter of minutes the painting had changed. While all sunsets are beautiful, no two are ever precisely the same, just as with all the moments of our lives.

Winter Cheer

Today was a gray, dismal, and rainy day. Not only did it rain non-stop, the temperature continually dropped as the day wore on. I know every moment can't be full of joy, or it would lose it's flavor, but today it was hard to peak above melancholy. During the afternoon I dropped some information by a client's house, and after dashing through the rain drops I arrived on their large, wood plank, front porch. As I love a good southern front porch, this began to light a spark, then as I looked to my left there was a lone pot of a purple pansies. It just reminded me that there is always beauty waiting to be discovered, we just have to be open to it.

True Voice

My favorite bird is the Mockingbird, a bird of many voices and constant song. There are many majestic and colorful birds, but none I find as intriguing. The next time one is near, stop and truly listen to his song. Like the Mockingbird, we have many voices. There is one for work, one for home, one for friends and so on. We change and blend as we move through our day and interact in different segments of society. I sometimes wonder though, as I sit and listen to his repertoire, which is his true voice hidden there within his song, or has he lost it in his desire to sound like others.

The picture above was taken from http://www.statesymbolsusa.org/

What is Meditation?

This post is a copy of a page from an informative site on meditation, here is the link to read more:
http://www.1stholistic.com/Meditation/hol_meditation.htm

There are various types of meditation - prayer is probably the best known, but there is also TM (Transcendental Meditation), mindfulness meditation, and from the Eastern tradition, Zen meditation, Buddhist meditation, and Taoist meditation.

The meditation encompasses such diverse methods as:
Formal sitting in which the body is held immobile and the attention controlled. e.g., Zazen, Vipassana
Expressive practices , in which the body is let free and anything can happen. e.g., Siddha Yoga, the Latihan, the chaotic meditation of Rajneesh.
The practice of going about one's daily round of activities mindfully. e.g., Mahamudra, Shikan Taza, Gurdjieff's "self-remembering".

All these practices have one thing in common - they all focus on quietening the busy mind. The intention is not to remove stimulation but rather to direct your concentration to one healing element - one sound, one word, one image, or one's breath. When the mind is "filled" with the feeling of calm and peace, it cannot take off on its own and worry, stress out, or get depressed.

According to Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., a pioneer in the field of mind/body medicine, meditation can be broadly defined as any activity that keeps the attention pleasantly anchored in the present moment. When the mind is calm and focused in the present, it is neither reacting to memories from the past nor being preoccupied with plans for the future, two major sources of chronic stress known to impact health. "Meditation," says Dr. Borysenko, "helps to keep us from identifying with the 'movies of the mind."

Carolina Moon

Fifty eight degrees and look at that sky, no other words needed.

Time Travel

I find myself drawn to anything historical. Old dilapidated buildings, with broken panes and weeds growing through the decking, always beckon me to come near. I want to lay my hands on everything and immerse myself in the energy from all that has been before. This even applies to photographs. While looking over a favorite blog site I came across the above picture. I was captivated by the scene. I longed to step into that town and that time, walk the dirt street, and peer into the storefront windows. I wondered if this conflicted with my desire to live in the present moment until I realized this is my present moment.

The above photograph taken from:
http://willowmanor.blogspot.com/2008/02/glenn.html

Animal Bonding

I always love the stories of different animal breeds existing peacefully side by side and the lessons they hold for us human animals. Here is a link to one I received today in my e-mail.

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4696315n

A Child's Imagination

One of the greatest gifts I can think of is to be blessed with a child's imagination. I work in new residential construction, and today I had a walk through with a client to finalize paint colors. Her four year old son was with her, and I felt blessed to be witness to the magic of his wonder. Every nook and cranny was a door to another world, and a stack of bricks became a castle. What a wonderful movie that must have been playing inside his mind. Why does it ever need to stop? What happened to the days of a tree limb being a galloping stallion or a simple box being a fort, race car, or sailing ship? Today I would challenge you to pick up a stick or rock and see what your mind can transform it into, make a mud pie or, body willing, climb a tree.
http://www.medieval-castles.org/pictures/fairytale_like_castle.htm

Where's Your Focus

I have recently taken up bowling and for all you avid bowlers please excuse me if I butcher any terminology. With my first few attempts there seemed to be no rhyme or reason for where the ball went. I lined up with the pins, picked the balls destination, and let her go, yet it always seemed to choose it's own path. I was then given the tip to line up with the arrows on the lane and this proved somewhat better. It still went right one time then left the next, but I was staying out of the gutter more. I then realized the trouble originated in my wrist. Now when I approach the lane I acknowledge the pins (my goal), address the arrows (survey my path to my goal), but before I release the ball I bring my focus back to my hand and wrist (the beginning - where I am at that moment).

Best Wishes for 2009 !

We celebrated the first day of the year in our traditional southern way, having black eyed peas and collards with dinner. I have never been much for cooking, so the exciting new twist this year was that I made the entire southern meal from scratch. Also new, I sauteed the collards in olive oil rather than cooking with fat back. Thanks to all who recommended this, yum. We had a bonfire, played some games, and enjoyed the other American tradition of watching football. The best part of the tradition was starting the new year with family, sharing laughs and lots of love.